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Trauma: What Is It?

Writer's picture: April CarpenterApril Carpenter

There’s a comment I hear quite a bit in therapy. It goes something like this:

“I know a lot of people have had it worse than me”

Oftentimes, we get into this habit of comparing ourselves to others. This happens with our successes, our attributes, our failures, our struggles and our traumas. When we do this, we typically minimize ourselves and maximize others. This leads us to feel as though we aren’t good enough, our successes aren’t successful enough and our traumas aren’t traumatizing enough. We end up believing that we shouldn’t be struggling with this like we are because other people MUST be struggling worse. But here’s the thing; trauma is 100% subjective. We experience pain on the level that our brains react to pain. No matter if the trauma was “big” or “small”, if the brain was traumatized then the brain is no less traumatized than another brain that is traumatized.


Let me use a visual example. Say you were riding a bike and you fell off, breaking your wrist in the process. Now lets say another person was attacked and their attacker snapped their wrist. You both go to the doctor and both of you learn that your wrists are broken. Is one person’s wrist more broken than the other? Or are they both broken? Broke is broke, right? We may be tempted to compare these experiences and say one was worse than the other, but the end result was the same. Both wrists were broken. The body experienced the same wound. The brain works the same way. Trauma is trauma. I'll say it one more time because it deserves saying, if the brain was traumatized during an experience, then your brain is no less traumatized than someone else’s brain that was traumatized.


So what is trauma? Well, trauma is the response to a deeply distressing event that overwhelms the individual’s ability to cope, causing feelings of helplessness, diminishing their sense of self and their ability to feel a full range of emotions and experiences. Trauma comes from the Greek word meaning “wound.” So when the brain experiences trauma, it quite literally is wounded. Not every brain will experience trauma to the exact same experiences. Two people could be in a car wreck and one person experiences trauma due to this, while the other person doesn’t. Every brain is different, every brain has a certain capacity to cope. Trauma comes when the capacity to cope is overwhelmed.




I want every person who reads this to throw out the notion that trauma is on some sort of spectrum where one thing is less traumatic than this other thing. This is not a race, this is not a competition. No matter what the experience was, if your brain is traumatized and you’re having trauma responses, then whatever happened to you was traumatic. I encourage you to seek help, to look for guidance on how to treat and overcome the trauma you’re experiencing. It will take time, it will take consistency, and it will take a strength most people never know they have. BUT, it will be worth it.


Blogs aren’t a place to do therapy, which is why I’m not giving any suggestions for people to do at home. Trauma work can be extremely difficult and I never recommend working through it on your own. I know there are hundreds of self-help books out there, but the truth is that when the brain has been traumatized, it can also be very unpredictable. This unpredictability can cause more problems than we are prepared for. So while I do believe there are things we can do at home to promote healthy living and healthy coping; when it comes to trauma, I strongly encourage this work be done under the guidance of a trained professional.


I hope that at the end of reading this you will begin to see yourself and your experiences through a different lens. I hope that you will one day believe you are worth the work. I hope that you will find that there is light at the end of this dark and lonely tunnel. You don’t have to do this alone. There are many of us who have made it our life’s work to help others like yourself find healing and hope.


Until Next Time!


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